Where to next?

February 2016 · 5 minute read

It turns out that shifting your circle from one community to another is just a matter of time and effort applied to appropriate relationships. Relationships meaning all and any connection between individuals and/or groups. When you surround yourself with people who have or have exceeded similar ambitions (not necessarily goals) to what you foresee for yourself and you become a product of your simulated environment, only then can you be truly successful in your pursuit.

I can definitely conclude, at this stage of my journey, that one thing I love is meeting and talking with new devs. When I say new, I don’t mean like they’re new, I mean like they’re new to me. Obviously, devs with more experience are far more interesting. Nowadays they seem to just pop up all over the show and I end up having 2 or 3 hour long conversations with people I’ve just met about things I’d never dreamed I’d talk about. And they’re interesting conversations too. Would you believe there are actually really interesting, highly intellectual people out there who can hold enthralling conversations for an extended period of time? Well, I suppose that entirely depends on what’s interesting you. I guess I’m going to need some new topics to talk about pretty soon though cause I think I’m almost out-nerding the nerds. See, they don’t want to talk about computers and programming cause that’s what they do all day every day and they have done for most of their lives. Me on the other hand, it’s just all I want to talk about because I guess it’s still kind of a novelty. I’ve only been doing it for a few years and I only get to do it in my free time, which can sometimes be quite limited. Oh, and whenever I meet a dev I want to know everything about what they do every day and what technologies they use and how they’ve used them and what they’ve done before and where they want to go next.

I feel as though I am far too excited about this whole new world I’ve found. Every time I meet someone new who will give me an inch of their time, I can’t help but start on a massive spiel about what I’ve done and what I want to do and what they do and what their life is like. I feel like a kid in a candy store with massive eyes seeing all the exciting new treats for the first time. I just can’t get over how big it is and I didn’t even realize it. It’s like I’ve just walked out of the shadows of a dark alley and into the light of day. I don’t quite know what’s going on yet and my eyes are a little hazy from the bright sun but the warmth feels so good on my skin that I don’t want to go back. And I have no intentions of going back either. I’ve gone too far already if I turned back now I probably wouldn’t even recognise the alley I just walked out of. My world is changing, slowly but surely and I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. Everything I’ve been working towards is finally starting to fall into place. It’s daunting, and I’ve only ever been waste deep but sooner than I realise I’ll be fully immersed and by that point I won’t be able to go back if I try…

So, where to next? Do I want to learn something new or just get better at what I’ve sort of already done? I know that there is a multitude of technologies out there that would benefit me to know more about but how can I implement them in a way where I can learn how they work? Would it be reasonable to learn something new with everything that I have going on right now? Or am I maybe ready to try my luck in the field? Have I learned enough yet to be employable in this industry? I’ll certainly learn more and faster by immersing myself into working with new technologies all the time. I’ll also take more pleasure from working on real productions. I’m unsure how I would adapt to such a change in my working environment, though, assuming I was employable of course. I don’t know that I would fit in. These are, I guess, just a few of the thoughts constantly rolling through my mind. Recently on a more frequent basis. The hardest thing about putting yourself out there is knowing the potential of failure. Maybe I’m really not cut out to be a programmer and I’m just chasing an unrealistic dream, doomed to succeed.

Well, that just can’t be true. If that was the case I wouldn’t have even started down the path that I’m on. I wouldn’t have put in so much time and effort and sleepless nights doing everything in my power to change my world. Gosh, I’m so indecisive about whether or not I’m making the right choices in life. It’s just so hard to know. But in saying that, it’s even harder to unknow what you already know. At the end of the day, I’m still enjoying the journey and I’m not in too much of a rush to hit the finish line so I’m just going to ride the waves as they come and when it looks like a big one’s rolling in I might even try to stand up, then it’s just a matter of keeping balanced.

In 10 years, I’m probably going to read back over this and either laugh or cry.